The Enigma of Silence

I don't want to say anything.
I don't want to have to repeat myself.
I'll stay quiet for a long time until there's something worth saying.

Silence is enigmatic
Stay this way
I don't want to hear you speak.
Just silence.
There are too many things better left unsaid.
Just let me be this way.
Don't awaken those memories.
Let me sink and feel blank

Let my face speak
That frown's
Never coming down

And the silence says more
Shares more
Stares more
Than any amount of words.

What did you do this weekend?

And I watch her get dressed
And I wait until she leaves
Behind I wait as she rewinds.

I felt lazy. All I wanted was a quiet weekend at home. Instead I found myself on the way to Su's place at 7.13 Saturday evening.
'No!'
'No!'
'No!'
'I will NOT NOT NOT change into something nicer!'
They only managed to put a better pair of slippers on my feet.
A rum and coke...more coke than anything else...I was dancing away in our corner.
Dancing Wildly.
Unexpectedly enjoying myself.

Thinks happen
They just do
You can't stop them
You might as well play them through
You might come out saying 'That was worth it'
And if you don't, it's still 18 minutes of your life better spent.

Tuesday Thoughts

I just realised why I'm working at IBM.
I'm good at it.
For the first time after a long time, I'm top of the class.
I'm the best there is.
I like that feeling.
I haven't felt that sense of accomplishment since school.
It gives me something to rejoice in.
It gives me something to be proud of.
My self worth sours every time I get an appreciation, every time Rajat Sir or Arsh congratulates me. I like being this good at something.
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I hate remembering the not-so-good times. More often than not, my thoughts linger on the unpleasant experiences and I wish this didn't happen so often. I really need to start letting go, forgiving myself for my imperfections.
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And in that time between the last touch of make up and getting on the cab, she prays. She thanks, she forgives, she hopes...
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