I've started this post so many times..it cant be tagged as free asscoiation anymore..
Remembering all he did and all he does to make me smile...and there're so many small reasons they cover up the need for a larger reason to adore him.Yet something seems out of place..the smiling reality/sincerity of it all makes it too good to be true and in a strange way we know...we both know on some conscious level that this can't last...it shouldn't cos if it did one or both of us would be compromised and neither of us wants that...we like ourselves too much...just the way we are with all the gaping flaws...
I start thinking of ways it might end...ways i might end it and this seems even more senseless cos I know I love him too little to let go
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