Sunday, 26 September 2010

Spring Cleaning 2oo!

I’m doing this cos I have nothing else to do plus this is a sort of clearing up weekend like any other. I clean my room. I clear my mind. I clean my phone. I clean up my facebook albums. And sometimes I clean up my music as well. Arranging, Organising, Sorting, Dusting, Throwing Away. This sort of thing. It’s not that I like doing it. But I do it well and I love the result.

It just started raining and this is a natural way of clearing the streets. Of people.
I lost my red umbrella last Friday. Not lost as much as gave it away. Let go.
My obsession was with the metaphor rather than the umbrella itself so I gave it away. 
Not for good. Just for now. 
Fools in love. Is there any other kind? Of fools or Love?

The Internet is down so I have to take a break from uploading and switch to MS word. Oh how I’ve missed ya!

So back to the msgs:

My phone’s been acting up cos I refuse to delete them.

So here goes:

'Mercury B. Faroukh Bulsara
5th Sept 1946
Zanzibar
Her royal highness, Queen Elizabeth II was the surprised recipient of thousands of fan letters in 1976 when the GPO mistakenly delivered the mail to the wrong queen!'- Su

This is from Stones. The table in the corner just before the loo. It’s been ages since we sat there together.

There was this one night when I was lacking self-confidence and I needed other ppl to tell me just how special I am.

‘I wouldn’t change anything..In fact you’re so unique that I would not change anything in you..’ – Am

‘You being original. I won’t change that.. That’s what I was tryin to say in the previous msg..’- Am, 15.02.2010; 1:52 am.

I’ve made a new rule. I won’t keep any messages that are older than 6 months. That still leaves 11,290 of them but it’s still an improvement!

It seems the first smileys were in the bible long before ppl started using them on the internet.

‘Yes. Found one more in Hebrews Seven. Twenty One end.’- Leslie. 07-03-2010; 10:49am


Yes. The line is like this:

Ok thought I'd find my little black book and just look it up. But when I went to look for it, it just wasn't there. I thought I'd kept it with my Oasis collection and Dylan lyrics (both Bibles in their own right) but it's just disappeared!
Will have to do some Holmes-type research on this matter.
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‘Aww…miss u guys lots too.. Ker is not the same without chundalam boys and u J”- Su; 16-03-2010;12:01 am.

I’m going next weekend. Will miss them just as much!

‘3 nice stories.
  1. Once, all villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all people gathered only one boy came with an umbrella. That’s faith.
  2. Example of the feeling of a 1 yr old baby. When you throw him in the air, he laughs becos he knows you will catch him. That’s trust.
  3. Every night we go to bed, we have no assurance that we’ll wake up the next morning but still we have plans for tomorrow. That’s hope.’- Aban

Who am I kidding! I LOVE forwards J
Even the corny ones.

Funnily enough, I don’t have any sent msgs older than 5 months. That’s a shame!

26th March 2010 was also the first day Tantan first msged me. So I’m just deleting all his msgs without a second thought. Unfortunate? Whatever! It’s about time already!
There’s one that says the way I dance shows I love loud music. That’s what he speculates. Haha…speculates! =D
There are even some which are from Su and Shar as I  update them. They say nice, encouraging things.
I’m the kind of person who needs to tell the whole world when something good is happening. Cos that somehow gives it accreditation. Somehow makes it real. Yeah I know it sounds ridiculous. It’s not like I need their opinions. It’s like by telling them what’s happening, I’m figuring out for myself how I feel about things. And that’s important. Just to put things in perspective.

So some of those msgs are like:
‘Ha ha! He must really like u!’ and ‘Flirt for all you’re worth woman!’
‘Happiness!’ I guess I’ve written enough about that word already!
Some people are just fascinated by me. It’s not love, it’s not even attraction. It’s just plain fascination. I’ve got used to it now. Still love it!

He just called, btw. To tell me we can meet after all this (smt at work) gets stabalised. It’s not like I can even say ‘He’s got his priorities mixed up’ cos Work and Family are on top of that list and that’s the way it should be, right?

I mean even though you’re young and most often juvenile, these are things you understand, inherently.
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Take you away I would if I could.
If you want to I could save you
Only if you want to.

But she don't mind no more
Will I ever save this man?
Why I even try?

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It turns out I can write this post about whatever I want now cos the rest of the msgs came after 10:30 pm and it's still 8:59pm here. K I'll admit I just don't want to delete them. What else you want from me?!

pah! How you torture yourself! :P
So no. I'm not going to write at all. Nothing comes to mind and I'd rather be uninspired than untruthful.
So bye for now.


You know there's something I've wanted to say for a very long time.
I would be happier if I did.
Control is very important to me.
Control in a game.
Control in a room.
Control when I'm drunk.
Control is just essential.
If I don't have it I don't do it.
That's just the way it works with me.
Get used to it.
Yeah. Thats all :)

Thursday, 23 September 2010

In Limbo

I dance on the street as I hear the latest fav and I wonder what he'd think if he knew I could dance this way.
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Last Kiss
I remember this one time in class he tapped me on the shoulder and asked if  I remember the lines of this song.
The first few words.
And we just couldn't no matter how many times we tried.
Hold me darling just a little while..
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a swoon of peace
when i smile like that I know only you could put a twinkle in my eye.
Face me with your label.
Tell me you are what they tell me you are.
Be the label.
The sorrows behind
Bring a bottle of your pride
drown drown

he's awesome
don't wanna follow death and all of his friends
dont get stoned!
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As many times I blink ill think of u tonight
I counted till ten turned off the lights and put my head to bed
Parnika
Low whispers
Nice evening
Hungry children
Mind over matter
Just you
Love no one
See me
Loop of fortune]
Jump van halen
King of castles
Hurry up and miss me
To sir with love
No one can deny
Me me me me me me
Low
Paint colours
Forever
Fit you
You were jaded
Some cant break you
And the best thing I never had
Dance
Look back 
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Sunday, 5 September 2010

Silver Shoes

Never hated anything more than WET TOES. Never loved anything more than WARM TOAST.


So I'm defying myself by defining myself.


I've been thinking in prose, singing in poetry.


You're my only release.


I want you there when I'm numbly watching TV.
I want you there when I have the wind in my hair.
I know I want you there.


It's not nice to know what you want and not let yourself have it.
I have serious superego problems I don't know how to deal with.
I've made up my mind and for once I'm sure.
I've made up my mind I can't want more.


It's hard to want something so much and not be able to fight for it.
I'm so used to not getting what I want I sometimes think I've just made peace with what I have.
Happiness is somewhere I decided to go cos I've been everywhere else before.