3 dead mosquitoes

I want to tell someone I love them
I want to tell someone I long for them
I want to sigh out loud
and kill a mosquito with it

She moved a lot as a child
She was moved a lot as a child
She just sighed everytime she lost a friend
She just sighed
and killed a mosquito with it

Welcome to her world
unstable as it is
It grew her strong
She grew up,
out,
in,
around...
Her world sighed her out of its arms
Killing mosquitoes with it

She knew herself as a child
And as her knowing grew
so did this bucket of paint
hanging above the porch
gathered dead mosquitoes

I long for that one gentle kiss
To tell me that this unstability is
all just a way of counting dead mosquitoes
that this insecurity is just a way of saying
goodbye to childhood

I don't mind laughing too loud or crying too hard
Show her what you got other than yellow sticky paint,
black polka dots
a broken heart and 3 dead mosquitoes

Flaming Torch

 I can easily see myself getting married to him, having kids with him, growing old with him.

And part of me doesn't want to.

Cos these means I'll never have another first kiss.

Another jittery heart

Another...sigh...

I can't begin to imagine it without him.

Another dream, yes. But what if I called him everyday to tell him bout my new jitter

And what if my new jitter was just him.

Cos heart's are flaky

And mine flakes out.

Flames out.

Flames In.

Flames out.

I don't know what I’m talking but anymore.

But you know...that!

Cry

It's funny that the theme for this week's photo contest is crying.
I spent an afternoon doing it and it didn't make me feel any better..like it sometimes does.
I feel empty and shapeless
I sound haunted and angsty again
I haven't cried this hard in a long time
It's not an alcohol induced pain relived
It's real and it won't go away
This blog's been filled with happy posts lately
and I HAVE been happy lately
I just need to cry now
Go away
Don't bring tissue paper
Just make it go way
Put it off
Enough.
----------------------------------
He's mine.
It's alright if I send him train confirmation messages
I can be insecure with him
I can show him I'm insecure about some things
I can be weak with him
Isn't that what you wish for sometimes?
Someone you can be weak with?
Someone who'll love you for your greatest insecurities...
And help you realise you've always had the strength to not only hide but fight them.
That's who he is for me now. and I know I can't give him up.
a drug that does that for you is indispensable...A person...

Just OK

I'd rather think of my deepest wish than my deepest sorrow.
Wishing on stars is a way of asking yourself what you really want most.
I'd rather not have anything to wish for.

Knowing this is probably the best time of my life
Is making it harder not to find flaws with the way things are.
I love the way things are.
Things still go wrong.
But I'm ok.
I still cry like a baby when I think of it.
But Im ok.

I'm stronger now.
Than I've ever been.
I'm quirky now.
Naughty now.
Grinning now.
And it's ok.