Christmas :)

i donno what im doing online so late
i just cant sleep before 5am
i love the internet
music: alanis morrisette
msging: everyone's asleep
even the two bums who came to spend the night at my place are snoring
they fought over the bed for almost an hr...
i like the movie we watched..maybe i should have kept it for myself
i might as well write about christmas...since i'm here anyway
(i like the no capitilisation rule)
so christmas was the best day ever!!
no i really mean that...i had the best of all worlds...three sleepovers..old friends..coll friends..bro...everyone made it perfectly dysfunctional..there was nothing missing...
beer...chandy..cake..tree climbing..sunset star gazing..everything that makes a perfect day
dont forget the ppl..:) i loved the part (lunch) when there were 3 sets of ppl in the house
the oldies..mom, harish, abha..in the middle room...
me, bro and su in the veranda and
sum am bijju outside..ha ha..
the best conversation ever
lots of yelling and screaming, laughing, oh lets not forget the fashion shows and the clothes and the mess..i donno why im writing this down...my memory is fantastic!
plus i have videos and pics of the madness
mom got a digi cam btw :)
i love my family
they say that at 20 u become more family oriented
u get used to ur mom screaming
u get used to arguing with ur bro
and then life becomes just a little easier
suddenly ur first priority is protecting them
making them happy
making sure they know u love them..lots
:) christmas was like that
exactly like that :)

God Of the Stars

This is my christmas!

sitting on the roof all alone
just thinking to myself
me, my phone

the uninvited neighbours,

the bracelet and chocolate,
unepectedly found in my pocket,

the tank,
the water marked christmas tree

and me :)

************************************************************************************

Its like life started today. As if Christ really died for me today.
I believe in a God.
A god i saw in the stars tonight
The God who let me forget my music, my computer, my world
The God who created this moon

Its not much but he did show me how to take some brilliant pics tonight
Just use whats around you
gold foil, wire, 11 feet against gravity





street lights, leaves

shadows...walls..flowers







anything..anything can make a good photo
It's all in your head
appeture, focus, lighting, framing
You need nothing!!
Just you youself and that power coming from the stars
That power termed God
You were born spiritual.
The world has made you religious
Be headstrong
heartstrong
u know it
inside u all answers lead to the same problem
its not confusion

u know why u dont believe
u cant let go of what you never had
of what u have needed, wanted, desired
all your life


u need to free fall
off a cliff,
outta a bus,
from that pedestal,
you need to be unafraid of death,
of the fear of death,
of everything that binds u to this earth.
if u dont, then ur just human
ur just alive
if u do, ur done, ur self actualised,
ur ready to die.
neihter seems profitable at the time
so u stand at cross roads
singing, dancing, drinking away
this life ur god has given you
this life their god judges you
this life u judge urself
that's what u should allow urself
the freedom from judgement
the right to say 'I have no prejudices'
To say it out loud
with no fear
of being ridiculed
then u can allow urself to believe
in a god
The god of the bible?
My god of the stars!
then u can form ur own rules
ur own church
a single person church :)
i like the idea of that!
I shall rest on it...

JESSE, A stranger

I'm having this conversation with this stranger
And somehow it’s easier
To open up to her,
To know that she'll never be close enough
To see me,
To judge me.
She'll never know everything I do or say
So I don’t have to be careful about what I share with her.
Yet, I tread with caution
To avoid a bad first impression.

I’m having this conversation with this absolute stranger.
In a weird way I trust her
The way we trust a stranger while crossing the road,
For those 15 seconds of the day,
When life is at highest risk
We place our trust in the handle bar mustache
Or the Planet M t-shirt
Or the gaudy blue sari
Rushing across tar, weaving through honks,
I don't even hold her hand
I know not what colour it is
And yet, I trust its capacity
To take me safely across the road.

I'm having this conversation with this actual stranger
Through this amazing network called the virtual web.
No one knows where the spiders are
Or how they constructed it
But all of us depend on it,
Each of us are caught in it,
Eaten by it
And yet, I trust its capacity
To connect me to the whole world.

I'm having this conversation with a stranger in Africa
She loves her country
I boast of mine
The rot I wrote in my eight grade GK book flows flawlessly.
She is surprised at the diversity
She thought existed only in her motherland.
I realize I’m secretly patriotic towards mine as well.
We get sentimental.
I talk of my country’s faults-
Poverty, Corruption, Illiteracy
To name a few
But I’d never wish to grow up in a better place.
And yet, I live in denial
Of Indias true potential

I’m having this conversation with this black woman in Nigeria
She's Christian.
She's philosophical.
She's from the Igbo tribe.
The same one which produced the literary genius,
The post colonial writer, Chinua Achebe.
I know his name.
I know his work.
We are made to study ‘Arrow Of God’ this semester.
I can’t believe my luck!
I seize the night!
I question
What gods, what festivals?
What rites, what rituals?
She says they have no such Gods as Ulu any more
"I live in the city where rituals are seen as Satanic"
They’re grown out of it, I guess.
Anyone following rituals is seen as “an ancient person”
Yet, She will go to church
To attend midnight mass every Christmas.

I’m having this conversation with a Christian—an African, Christian woman
She promises to enlighten me about the mmanwu
“Whats that?” I ask twice.
Mmanwu means masquerade.
“Like a feast?”
In this season they all will be out to entertain people at the village square.
I din’t ask who ‘they all’ were.
She asks instead
“Do you celebrate Diwali?
What is it like?
Are you mobile?
Would you like to call me?
We could talk about how our countries share the same differences.
Hello, you still there?”
But I have found fellow flies on other webs.
“Here’s my no…
Being a patriotic Indian I refuse!
Excuse: too expensive, too late at night, too sleepy
Before I know it
It’s Saturday and Jesse is gone.
Yet, I’ve spilt my two-minute mind
To a woman no longer a stranger.

'Friends are like stars
They shine only when we're looking after them'
My quote for the month of November
This is how I came up with it:-
I was going thru a tough phase with coll friends so i turned to my old school autograph book for condolence.
In it I found this quote "Friends are like stars, you dont always see them, but you know they're always there"
:) that kinda made my day. It was written by someone I hardly knew (can't even remember her face now) but it meant a lot to me.
so later while chatting with a friend....

17th Nov 2007, 9pm

me: i think im getting used to it
losing friends
its normal....
sUdEePtHa: -slap- now u sound lik me and akshay!
me: why?
sUdEePtHa: cuz v had that whole conversation too tat day...
me: thu
sUdEePtHa: de whole no permanent frens thing
me: hmmm
its true u know
friends are like stars
sUdEePtHa: ?
me: they shine only when we're looking after them
:)
sUdEePtHa: err... or they come out only at nite?

some ppl are just dumb! That quote is frikking brilliant!! I put it up as my status msg on gtalk. Unfortunately! ppl are shamelessly daft!!
more proof:-
18th Nov, 2007, 10:45pm

Bleh: wait how do you look after stars?

me: u look after stars by letting them look after u

:)

Bleh: that doesnt make sense....

aye i'm dumb

me: he he

u not a Dylan fan no

there's a line in Forever Young which says

Bleh: not so much, only hear dont listen

me: ah..

the line says

'May you always do for others and let others do for you'

Bleh: ah see that make sense

what these stars and all

me: very imp part of friendship is letting other ppl help u

which certain (ahem) ppl dont do

thats why me is mad

never mind

too much philo

MY PHONE SUCKS!!!

Bleh: :p

hehe does it now

may that ahem not refer to me

me: ahem

Bleh: some ahem ppl are too proud to do that

me: not u

Bleh: ahem stupid too...

me: someone else

u are!

Bleh: ah thank god


yes..now that that mis-'gulled'-understanding is cleared up.....


its still the most brilliant thing I've said in days!!! :)


until smt better pops up.......