Friday, 18 January 2008


Today was a day of ups and downs..a perfect day!
You know there are a few days when everything goes smoothly..well those days aren't really perfect...they're just the opposite of bad days...
Perfect days are days in which there are as many highs as there are lows.
Today there was waking up on time, giving Zohrab his birthday gift and hugging and kissing my very own eighteen year old on the plus side and 4 inch heels, Saturday traffic and LG dvd players on the down side.
So it was all perfect...until...well i got home in one piece..a little too early considering I was supposed to be babysitting Loius for two hours. Anyway i decided to take full advantage of my time alone at home.
Switch on the Comp, open my favourite playlist, sink into a bean bag and listen to Champagne Supernova on the highest volume possible, while ignoring calls from Osho, charging my phone, boiling the milk and digging into a raw tomato and chavanprash! yes! I'm a multi-laxer!
Thank you very much...
Then the bittersweet part...I hear Slide Away. I miss Deb. I ring him.
Excuse: Do they have on-the-spot registration for 'In Bloom'?
Like I din't already know :P
We start, call back, online, disconnected, landline, call back.
I end up on a bean bag in the bathroom!! Two hours of Oasis and (sigh) Deb! lol..We talked bout everything...Murder lists...Class clicks...Shady Characters. We dint go as far as teachers. We settled at 'U dont understand female psychology and I'm gonna explain it to u.'
Well that took two hours...excluding the reverts to Coldplay and tears.
Anyway, it turns out he needed my insights and I needed his. Turns out I've highly underestimated this air giutaring Nirvana freak and his worldly wisdom. :) well, we went round and round in circles until Zo's Ex girlfriend rang to wish him.
Then the fun part..then the happy part...then the lonely part..then the extremely annoyed part and finally the extremely depressed part. Somewhere down the line I switched from phone to computer to loo to bedroom and mom and Zo came back.
Now while mom was occupied by Taare Zameen of the year!!, I was in my room, sobbing! Almost called Akshay out of desperation.
Problem: "Damn! I can't do it..I miss him too much..its my Bro's birthday and Dad hasn't even been there for one of them! I just..its ok..there's nothing u can do.."-Sushil, Deb
They dint know what to say 'Call Akshay..(he always knows what to say)..he cant b that stuck up'.....'Im sorry, Im very sorry'.....
But I knew what I needed...there was only one thing that could help and I dint have it...
I've put her back on my phone now..yes! there is a possibility that i will get seriously addicted to her...anything that makes the tears stop can be a drug for me.
Sometimes the tears themselves are drugs.
I couldn't get to her then so I tried Calvin and Hobbes, Lightening Crashes, Photographs of Dad and me dated 1989, Diary dated 2007, Tricia, Krishna and Vini.
Vini helped..a lot! I dint tell her the real reason for my woes but she rambled on about Tarun and Arun and by 12:45am I had wiped my tears away and whats more my room was clean as well :)
'Our talks are so therapeutic!' They are! they really are! but they're really just diversion tactics. :) works anyway. Better than wet tissues and scrunched up blankets!
So i was officially 'cheered up' but I still needed my song so here I am. Three and a half hours of Sweet Zoey Jane.
Thank You Staind :)


  1. hmm... subtle, very subtle indeed... as subtle as ur day i must say! -grin-

  2. subtle..hmmm..i never knew i could be..but once in a while..i like being discrete -wink-

  3. In retrospect, this is a page from the diary of a person with Bipolar I disorder!! Damn..I came up with the cyclical mood theory in my diary dated 1999! whatever happened to original thinking! ha!