and I copied it to paste here
then it got lost
since ur feeling ignored and all thought I'd pop in and say "Things Have Changed"
Oh Man! Things have changed! ha ha..I love that guy on moment of truth
yeah so i was saying..I'm still the muddled goes-round-in-circles-to-get-to-the-point mind
And I still need a new crush..well maybe not so much as a crush as a ..well..whatever..there's like too much confusion in that department
on the other hand..or should we say head...I have weird heat headaches..when i don't eat and sit out in the sun and they're paired with this weird backache too..its painful...
and the cure seems to lie in colourful gooey balls from Kerela...just sifting through them..crushing them in between my fingers...imagining being back there on that beach..on top of that lighthouse...on top of that hill...sigh...just that much relaxes me and then oops..one of them slips out of the bowl and I hear Naik's gooey ball song and smile inside myself, at myself.
I have to consciously make an attempt to unclench my jaw before I go to sleep...have I always been so tense?
And what am I so god damned tensed about? ok lets not go there!
I'm more complicated than a DIVX player..he he..gullsense..the school is back in action..I actually tried teaching Naik to say 'Awesum' the gull way today..lol..pat on the back apprentice...sigh..simpler times...
See this is why I say that we should know absolutely nothing bout the personal lives of musicians...just cos he's dating Jen An doesn't mean he's turned over to the dark side! he he..I kinda like her actually...may not have thought of that combo..but whatever..it's their life! and we should really just stay outta it! bloody page 3! & 4 and the whole BT!
lol..there's a whole industry out there that depends on things like this..and for all u know u may end up being part of it..he he...and then u'll read this post and go..."How things Change"
sigh...time..there's this nice thing I said about it...
"Time heals all wounds is a very hypocritical thing to say..But the past fades into the future and wounds have this way of wrapping themselves up in smiles and staying wrapped up for a long time..long enough to allow happyness"
I think this makes a lot of sense..see this is what I mean...only by healing another can I heal myself..all these profoundities only occur to me when I'm trying to 'be there' for someone..god! I so have to become a psychologist...my emotional life is in peril if I don't...
Yeah so I was saying this whole 'Time heals all wounds' theory..throw it out the window! It's bull!
Time heals no wounds
u can mope around in ur drunken ditch for days, weeks, months and it still wont help..u gotta get out there..with open wounds...ready for the salt to be flinged into them...cos that's what really tests u and treats u and tells u how strong u really are...and weakness is not measured by the tears u shed at the pain..but the cowardliness u show by taking cover in that ditch..
Abandon the ditch..it will hide u no more!
There! There's ur Profound post for the day/night
And I still have a lot on my mind...well at least state of blankness has taken a back seat..
It's a nice phase to be in..when nothing is on ur mind...when headaches take a back seat..when all u feel is a lack of happy feeling..not pms! just not high either...
Now its more back to 'normal'...the thinking headache is back..the one that keeps me up all night...the one that allows free write posts like this...the one that still insists on OCDing ur phone even when the toggle button thing is so totally fucked up...I did put normal in quotes, didn't I?
Well, you've gotta look on the brighter side..the slower music..the better pictures...the absolutely permanent 'dent' in ur bean bag... :)
U've acquired a healthy amount of selfishness...u don't need to give as much as u needed to in the past..this gives u more time with urself..to explore that licity of character that lives in u...and every time u think it's shaped for sure, some part of the iceberg melts, some level of water goes too low...some global warming perhaps...and then u have to change form again, I wonder if there'll be such a thing as an iceage when u stay invincible....moments of such strenght I see in ur future...ur bold enough to resist, to overturn that flake of a ship that rubbed u up the wrong way...but somewhere inside u still hold all those little pieces of soul u were responsible for killing..
Yeah, if u're reading this and dint understand ANY of the above, get used to it, this is how it's gonna be for a while...what?! it's better than the total writers block!