JanuarY Too-uh-oh-NIN

Shitfest started this week
It ends soon apparently
i wanna do another lit-crit and just not turn up for the heck of it
I mean my school friends are getting more guilt on their consciences than I am..ah my perfonified superegos! how I miss ya!
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There used to be a time when I was so addicted to you I used to think in Blogger
Like what's Music of the moment today..ah this line..this song..
Ah now it seems lame...blogger, I hereby outgrow u!

• 2009 rings in my space...but thats kinda...celebrity-ish!....na!

• um..how bout wordpress? It's bloody diff to figure out...as in I got super confused with the templates there...well, that's not really saying much...but then again....who wants a user-unfriendly blog!?

• ok so hotmail spaces!! open up to the worldo! Unfortunately all my faithfuls have long-abandoned their MSN ids for cooler gmail ones..ah the monopoly of google! sigh...

• So I guess I'm sticking to u..just a template change...ah blah...no time to be picky...tic tac toe...here I go...blue? u? ...na!

• ok so I'll change the title and all...gosh! how somberi can u get!?

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Yeah so I've grown outta the blogger craze, but the apparent lack of a different comfort zone and the massive migrane induced by dreamboi makes me sing

'hello again..
it's you and me...
kinda like it always used to be...
sipping wine..killing time..
trying to solve life's mysteries..'

Bon Jovi, Make a Memory..never heard of it?!! really!!

Youtube now! I can almost see Shar's mouse clicking on 'new tab'

But really getting a new blog is like when ur mom insists on clearing ur room and u come in and find such a bloody neatmess! and every morning you have to yell: 'where's my freaking deodrant!? I can't find my belt!! aaaa!'...so much for lousy mondays...I went to coll in my pyjamas once last week with a half ironed kurtha on top..ha ha...thankfully no one noticed soon enough to say smt nasty..
afterthought: i think they just like having things to do and ppl to correct!
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The truth is I can't stand change.
I wanna yell "Leave me alone, u freaking jobless fool...61 and retired means 'lie on ur back and watch tv...set up kitty parties if need be' ..Dont tear apart my thermocol photowall!
Don't rearrange my mattress every two days!
Dont abscond with my blanky!!!
ah..then they wonder why we prefer their bedrooms which has stayed static for the last 16 years...
Seriously, there's enough 'change' in the world and within me to get home everyday and see my dressing table torn apart! mirror, mirror on the wall....wait..which wall? I sure it took only one kung fu slam to distantle the teak..but teh tweak was as vain as Chans princess resque!

And u wonder why I dint have a troubled teen life! well, here's a bowlful of adolescence for u!
Twenteen indeed! I'm moving out next month! u can stop complaining bout my room not being a replica of yours..thank you very much!
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So, what I intended to write about was this realisation thingy
You know like gullsense when you bump into rocks and suddenly something just hits u
and its not like its painful or anything
and I dont go all 'ah why dint I see this before'..well not anymore..cos it's happened too often
But this is what a migrane does to me...it kinda makes me think till it hurts..and then think all the way back till it stops...and no amount of running cold water alternated with steel tap bumps can help..
I burst into uncontrollable angry tears at room changes when I tried that (I'm only allowed Disprin as a sad alternative...... medicine?..I think not!)
Oh and resting a wet head on ur own pillow is not allowed anymore apparently...

Note: rule change in democratic Reys/Gamat household:
1.Even if your sweet smelling pillow is on temper-tantrum-throwing thumbi's bed..u cannot lie on it!!
2. TTTT as described above is allowed to comment on how poorly you have been brought up with statements like 'The only remedy is a good tight slap'
Outrageous u say? Wait for ammendment no390795308...up next week...
Oh did I say end of rant....ah the angst...yes, even I'm left wondering when my twentieth birthday flashed past..
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So it's time to crown the new queen and all (image of crowned king of future month flashs past while struggling through chapter on stress)
I don't believe in gifts any more...Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary..it's all a pile of bull....you can add it to the Valentine day waste basket..cos really the only ppl who profit are Archies/Hallmark and Crosswords/Landmark and(or) Dairy Milk/Temptations...depending on how cheap/frugal the gifter is. Pardon the Industrial Psych tone..thank u, Stefen!

Chapter 4
Gifter Psychology

Factors affecting giving of gifts

1. Budget for the month
2. Long term savings
3. Time of feacal year ('he means fiscal calender, I think'...'I can't really read triple zeroxes')
4. Intimacy of fiend
5. Immediacy of treat
6. Prepatory speeches given by peers-Highly motivation, btw!
7. Estimated gap between festival and b'day--Capricons get highly ripped off by Christmas....Muha haha ha ha! (oh common, he never likes my gifts anyway...can I blame it on the fact that we live in the same house?!)
8. Availability of cake and cake shops--Justdial is like super helpful man..they'll make places like Practising Pasteries call you and insist on delivering delicacies like Chocolat Tromborne!
9. Hunger and appetite for thrills-- On the arrival of D-day, are all gifters ready for lemon mint rassam? do you prefer Tuppa and chillis instead? or would you like to replace your stemming hot palao with steaming hot Gajjar Halwa?! (*roasted cashews assured. Conditions apply!)
What about carolling? really like to croak/bable, do we? or is it just the icing-smashed face we look forward to?
Ah the diluted truffle sauce...ah the mushroom subs dipped in chocolate..u just gotta walk out undertipping the coffee/beer places.

'Oh no! Information overload! we need a thingy! a thingy!?'
'A thingy?! An er...abbreviation...anagram...u mean'-a little ELT later works no chrms here
'That thing only!'
'HAEPITLB'
'THE PIT LAB!! ah..perfect!'
'no no no....how bout LIP BET HAL'
'Ah yeah...hal can be like this horney dude who bets on thickness of chick's lips!!'
'No then!'

Needless to say, candidate no 2 failed 'Gifter Psychology 1-o-1'
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Tonight, the tantalising Medha Goel( Bihari/Honarary Banglorean/Media dept rapist) calls out to overexposed to heat-and-cold mind.
....Ah...if only Guitar guys were not Blummerfubbers...sigh...click publish before rant 2! please!
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PS 1: Muffled Mind, Puddled Parnika....um....still looking for an alterego who does not condone alliteration...
I helped you with ur blog title, now comment on mine!
PS 2: I think the title of la post claims an A+ in Advertising and PR
Disclaimer: I hereby refuse to take blogger seriously!
Blur song 2 here I come! woohoo!
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MAMA!!

Its pissing off to realise you’re just like your mom!

Especially when she’s doing the same things her mom did.

I’ve been ‘looking after’ my mom these days.

And she can be SO whiney!!

It’s amazing!!

‘I’m sick and dying’

‘People don’t care about me’

‘Someone ate the kiwi from the top of my birthday cake!!!’

Aargh!! I feel like screaming!!….Isn’t that the same thing your mom said to you in all those pathetic letters from Goa!!

Bite tongue… ‘Shall I make soup?’

‘I don’t want tomato soup’….Whine….‘Kichidi with Pallak’

Ah sigh…fine!

Icky mustard oil…jeera…leave out the chillis on purpose…her stomach’s upset…K.I.S.S.

I need Gallagher to drown out the yelled-from-bed instructions which out-shrill the pressure cooker whistles.

Grab a bowl….dump…prawns pickled in B’bay…ah done!

Pallak Palao and Prawn Pickle! Served!

“Don’t waste your time on me, you’re already the voice inside my head”-I Miss You, Blink 182

‘Wash your Hands!’

‘Where are your slippers?’

‘Don’t touch that’

Do I really need to be corrected so many times? Even when I’m running the house for you?!

‘Heal me, I’m Heartsick, I’m hungry and I’m broken’ -No Vacancy

‘Not Crocin! Not Disprin! No! I won’t go to the doctors!’

And I WILL eat only Cashew nuts!

“Get me this…get me that…Bring me this kinda that…make sure it’s from there and make sure it’s free or at least on sale!”

And I WILL throw a tantrum if it’s past expiry date!

“Help me get up, help me get dressed, call my friends to see if their kids are fine!’’

And I WILL hold you responsible if they aren’t!

“AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!! Is this the first time in your life you’ve had a fever?!!!”

“No…I’ve been sick before, I just never tell you”

Point!

This is the first time she’s been unable to get outta bed to cook, to pack lunch, to stand at the gate and yell at every spitting passer by!

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‘Sometimes you can’t make it on your own’-U2

Just when things can’t get any worse, I realise I can’t do it all by myself and I have to be dependent on these creatures called brothers who are not exactly the most responsible things on earth!

But then, he is a good son and I don’t need to all proudly possessive of her.

And he did sleep on the mat in her room

And he did make me smile by putting me on the hotlist and calling me boss.

And he did roll out chapattis…I’m the only one complaining when they turned into tacos instead of phulkas!

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It’s hard to love someone so much

That you can’t eat until she’s full

You can’t sleep till she’s snoring

It’s not that I mind waking up at 6 for the milkman. It helped me break my bunking streak with Felix!

But it's just irritating and scary when a strong person cries

It’s hard to see your happy person frown

And the one who has taken gooood care of you all her life

It’s hard to take care of her.

And she may have taught me how to read, tie my laces and board the bus but she never taught me how to look after her.

‘Bah! You should have made me do nursing instead of this stupid FEP!’

She played out this whole deathbed scene with Zo and Pranav this morning.

But now she's all up and about...putting off lights, turning down my music and making sure I never touch the TV remote. My mama's back :)

Puddled Parnika

Sometimes I have this compulsive desire to clean. Sometimes I want to cuddle up on a messy bed. Sometimes I don’t think I have a choice. Swaying from OCD to the nuisance my mom believes I am, I’ve lost that little part of me which says I can be human.

It is this lost touch with a real world which grew inside of me. Sometimes, I need my home to break down in. Sometimes I need to submit that assignment late just to prove I can fail without breaking.

It’s always the red marks that caught me and trusted me to be better next time. It’s always the green ones that approved mistakes and even encouraged them. The strip told me I’m not the only one who leaps over a null report card and hides the evidence till the garbage is taken out.

Spaceplans make me mad. I refuse to dream big for a person I don’t even know. And I thought you knew what was best for me until all you did was hurt the spirit that told me I’m fine the way I am.

Everybody looked down at me thinking it’s all in my mind. Everybody razed the side skin on my stomach to prove fringes look better on thieves. Some didn’t want to understand the puns. Some tried too hard. All disgusted me.

The killers don’t condone suicide. Neither does the bulimic. So what does a gutless teen choose over the rainbow. If there was more to find than a pot of gold?