Saturday, 11 July 2009

The dream

Open your eyes was playing

We were in the JPEng class.

He was holding me and singing it into my ear. I was singing along in bits, bits wear I wasn’t breaking down.

‘This is not my funeral song anymore.’

I was trying to get back home. It was late. I was waiting for a bus at check post. He passed me without looking. Even when I called his name, he didn’t turn around. He was bald. He got into the bus and left.

I see a Reva with Aachal, Osho and someone else, probably Madhu in it. I think of asking for a lift. Before I do, I’m in the car. I apologise for being so forward. I’m ignored. They’re discussing costumes for Mary and Joseph. ‘Why would Mary wear a sari?’, I wonder.

I’m on some sort of trolley: a four wheeled device with a silver handle; a boy in front of me, ‘riding’ the thing, me at the back holding on. We tumble down rocks at a great speed. This is scary. We pass a temple and lose the trolley.

I enter a strange dark house. A little fellow is frying something. I sit on the couch. When it’s time to eat, I get up and wash my hands. On the way to the sink I step in a bowl of kheer. I immerse my hands in a bowl of oil with the statue of Lady Vllankanni in it. I break her head.

I wake up wondering what Mother Mary is doing in a house near a temple.

The next night I dream I’m on my way to college. But I’m also working. So I have to choose between my job and college. I realize I don’t have a job in MiDDAY anymore so I decide to go to college with my brother. I haven’t had a bath. I try changing in the car. I don’t want people to know I haven’t changed all weekend.

Once we reach college, I go to the loo, where, surprisingly, my brother is allowed. It’s 8.40. I decide to wash and change. First I pee. Then I put on my kurtha. But before I put on my pajamas, the washing lady comes and gets them wet. I’m furious and out of time.

There’s a shelf full of lost and found clothes. I find some of Su’s kurthas there and my blue one from Delhi. I search in vain for something to match my kurtha. Orange and blue. My original pajamas were blue. I can’t go out in jeans!

Su and Sum join me. We find someone’s old dance costume. I finally find something reasonably wearable. As I try it on, Sum tries out something else. She lifts her leg in the air and asks ‘Does this make me look fat?’ It’s impossible to tell at that angle. I put my leg in the air and imitate her. Laughter.

Finally we’re in the corridor. I ask ‘Have I been coming to college at 9 everyday last week?’ Su says ‘Yeah’ I realized I’ve worked only one day at MiDDAY and I haven’t been there since they called me for the interview. ‘So I’m not working then. I’m doing my PG.’ Su gives me a Hummph!

I wake up. It’s 2 am. Mom has packed lunch with some instructions on the ‘Don’t Forget’ whiteboard. ‘I don’t work on Saturdays’ I scribble and turn on the comp.

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