Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Don't think that I won't miss you

Last 2 days here and I'm now excited I'm just more upset that its her last day. I've worked with her only for 3 months, but the best 3 months it's been. I wish for the someone who I can share my vision with as much as I did with her. It's difficult to find colleagues you get along with, much more difficult to find people who can translate your vision on paper.
This is not one of those days but it's still just a day in the endless string of routine. I want to hang up my prettiest clothes in a walk-in closet and draw days around them. Each of them loving their own love stories.

I don't want to be thinking of what people would say or think. Of yesterday's wrongs and tomorrows wishes.

It hurts to think this is all my life is. I'm making it one of those days by just thinking of how senseless all this is. I'm lonely. I'm missing that bottle of wine and your face when you realize it's the cheap kind. Crying out to the full moon to do something other than remind me of how jealous I am of those who shine.
Watched the Oscars yesterday and cried during the In Memorium when Robin Williams came up. It just became real and it was saddening. I remember hearing the news when I was at work and I couldn't express myself. But now no one was stopping me from bawling my eyes out. It just didn't make sense.
Moments like this make me miss mom too. Cos she's the one who always had the remote. And even though I didn't always agree with her choices it was nice to have something more than blank walls when you had a random comment to make, like "Is Adam Lavine out of tune?" or "You won't get that unless you've seen the movie!"
She'll be back in April and I'm thinking of moving out. It's just easier like this. Easier to let go. And then when it happens it won't hurt as much. It'll just be easier.

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