hmmm..I had this whole post planned out and then it happened..bean bag day!! he he...Shivagange kinda does that to u! anyway it was my phone 2 month anniversary on the 11th and in its honour i would like to dedicate this post to sony ericsson 750i..yes! thats the phone i have..comments on its efficiency are presently avoided.
I am here to solemnly wipe out all its contents..well the drafts and the pics at least..need memory space :P
Beware..some of this shit is personal..do not overanalyse, assume or spill out any of it!! I'll find out!
This takes time..opening up to the whole wide world about stuff like broken hearts, philo poems and msgs that dint really reach the ppl they were supposed to! so here goes...
Life is like a room.
Many people enter and leave.
You make place for some,
Others break and enter.
Some are trapped inside,
While others only get a view from the window.
Some people visit more often than others,
Some stay longer,
While others walk in and out.
Some get thrown out eventually,
Others slam the door.
And leave cracks on their way out.
And when you’re sure they’ll never return,
You look at the empty spaces they left behind,
And wonder if they are worth filling up again.
Sometimes the room is empty and wasted
And you regret letting people leave.
Sometimes it’s so full you wish
You hadn’t let so many people in.
Sometimes there isn’t enough space for everyone
And they get in each others way.
So you want to break down and reconstruct
Or redecorate at least.
But you never know whether
The room can withstand constant renovation.
You’re afraid it may crumble and fall,
At the very mention of a cement truck!
You don’t even know who will be around
To build it or break it.
Maybe it’s not up to you.
After all, you don’t own the room.
You don’t even know who keeps the keys!
Someday you might gain the keys
Or pick the lock.
In either case, make sure
You reread those papers before signing any
Fulltime contracts or part time leases
Or permanent eviction certificates.
Cos there’s no telling
Who may hold up that main pillar
Or who could let go of that loose tile.
No 1...yes! this is the 10 page msg i saved the night before the class trip..apparently right before really tiring days i like writing :) like today i'm supposed to get up early and watch Taare Zameen Par with a friend at Inox..but instead of restin I'm here!
2."He he...i have a new theme song.. i wanna break free..Queen! Lol..god knows I've fallen in love.."-Supposed to be sent to Sumati on 31-12-07
Ha ha..its still my very brilliant new year resolution! i shall break free! I shall over come! I shall know what the hell to do with my life by the end of 2008. I solemnly swear by my muddled mind I shall!!
3."So what's ur song of 2007?
that one song you waited....ok i cant be bothered..whatever i typed yest dint get saved and im too bleh now..go figure!!
I've decided to give this another shot..where did i stop? ah yes..the forwards..
"What's that one song u waited to hear on radio..Or Vh1..the one that made u smile or cry or shout things like 'thats so soml!' everytime u heard it..it could be just one song or a whole playlist or just one band/artist..Whatever..Tell me about it!"- To Sum, Shruthi N, Vini, Akshay (not a mistake), Shake, Deb...
Sum said one mile wish..heard it for the shortest time but still..
Vini said she has to think
Shrithi said Arctic Monkies
Shake gave a whole list of Mettalica
Deb dint replay
and Akshay said "I would really appreciate it if I weren't part of your msging list"
Lol..i had a good laugh :) Listening to Chasing Cars right now ;)
"These things will never change for us at all"
4."These ppl are irritatingly fussy.. Bear with me.."-To mom
I think it did get delivered cos she seemed to agree with me.
5."Everyone has an identity in college and they are afraid of breaking out of it..if they are dancers they'll just dance..if they're actors they'll always act..i broke out of it..i'm proud of myself!"
Dont remember why this was so important. Was sometime around Psych Fest...
6."Merry last-day-of-coll-before-Chirstmas and a happy last-few-days-of old year! :)"
Everybody said how 'me' this was! ;)
7. "I was very drunk..had fight with Akshay..listen can u pick up some stuff from me from forum or smt..please..its cake and shit for you guys.. Akshay and i are not on talking terms..don think we'll ever be.."-To Nehal, Christmas morning..She rang in the morning, assumed she got the msg..hmmm..
8. "I'm drunk.. Im gonna tell him I love him..Stop me!"-Vini
And she did!
This is probably the reason why I haven't completed this post yet..anyhow I guess im comfortable enough with it now..
Would it make a difference if I had said 'I love you' in place of 'I hate you'? I wonder...
9. "What's wrong with me? I like babies so I babysit every saturday.. it makes me smile.. one of the few things that makes me smile..so what if some goof calls me a pedophile..I don't become one! he's an ass anyway..doesn't feel good about himself so he has to insult other ppl to boost his ego..i hate ppl like that.."
The fall of the pedestal...
10. "Sorry only oscar winning ppls can see my list!"- To Akshay
The last decent conversation we had..Christmas lists...He had promised that when he wins his oscar he will go on stage with my Raakhi hanging out of his watch and it'll become something of a fashion statement..'who knows we may go together to get the best screenplay award' :) happy times...
He got me what I asked for..Elmo is a constant reminder of what I'm missing..
It still has the black embroidery thread which was supposed to patch up his leather jacket...
11. "Just wanna say I forgive u"-To Ram
The day of the Psycho fest..truly Psycho!
I needed him then and I went rushing back..He had done nothing to require my forgivenes and yet all the grudges I held against him vanished that day. We're not the best of friends now but we're here in the 'let's give friendship another chance' phase.
Haven't spoken to him in a while since i found out that the reason Zo and him stopped talking was me..that struck a chord. I've done worse tha I thought..messed up more than my life...
12. "Ma ur doing the right sensible thing..its not easy but its right and ur strong..things will work out fine..love u too! :)"-To mama
Wish I believed it! How much I cried then! should have been there for her..instead I broke too..
13."I refuse to be amused by u..I hate everything about u"
RAGE absolute rage!
There it is! 13 unsent msgs....things I wish i had said..things I had no courage to say..things I thought I had said..things that got left behind...