Love

"love....
love is making an exception
love is accepting someone with their faults
love is a simple act of smiling at a poor man,
giving him belief that he could easily have been what you are

love is putting other person before self
love is what makes you silent
when you have to speak

love exists in so many forms
love is experiencing...."

Thats one view..i like the beggar part..making him believe he could have been you...

"love
love is a decision ..
to try no matter what
to bear
to forgive...
to remain faithful to..
to trust...

I have a long winded theory

2 individuals could
really like each other
be in lust..
be infatuated

but its the decision to be with them no matter what..
stand by them..
to commit...

they decide to "love"
and stick with their decision

so even when the attraction fails
you grow old
saggy and disgusting
you stick by your decision..
and LOVE..

there are many beautiful words that describe love man
you never know...
they all seem brilliant..
and sometimes my theory seems too practical and unromantic"
me: "ya
but it makes sense
it explains a lot of things
and u know what love is an unconscious decision
its beautiful when u don't have to thing about it
thats what romance is all about
right?"
"well i think it should be a conscious decision as well"
"sometimes
when commitment is involved"
"coz you cannot love the person all the time.. they might be mean and hateful
and rude.. and unkind
and downright stupid
but its just your conscious decision to stay
not up and leave"
"but sometimes u love them despite that
all that"
"yeah exactly
its the conscious part.. that lets you
at least i think so"

I really love this one..for its simplicity and its sincerity
oh wait there's more..

"you know what i hate the most
its these guys and girls.
who just keep saying and using love as an excuse
no one seems to take the words
"I love you" for its true meaning
most of the time its for sex
other times.. comfort
re assurance..
I mean seriously..
I find it stupid"

It is..reminded me of.. "those 3 words are said too much..there's not enough"
I remember a time when he was planning to make a documentary kinda thing..ask ppl their opinions on love and write them down..today I felt as if I was stealing that idea...

nonsense

read mug boys blog today..donno why..bored i guess
watched a repeat of a hindi movie today..donno why..bored i guess
ate chilli surprise popcorn today..donno why..bored i guess
now even tho these three things are things I've never done before
I did them out of a routine which i don seem to be following anymore

came online at 1 am today..donno why..bored i guess
watched videos of nris today..donno why...bored i guess
facebook quizes..ur poetry and mine..donno why..bored i guess
now even tho i do these things pretty often
I should have slept to stop all the coughin'

14 Saviors

1. "Why do I keep doing this?
Making ppl happy
Giving them what they want
Saying what theywant me to say
Just cos I know them
And in the end I'm the one left alone
Miserable"

Felt really low after bringing two of my best friends together. Felt like I had driven them away from me.

2. "Damn! I can't do it
I miss him too much
It's my bro's eighteenth birthday
And dad hasn't been there for one of them!
I just..It's ok..
There's nothing you can do"

19-1-2008

3. "It was smt to do with my dad..i dont feel better talking about it cos it doesn't make it go away..not a prob that can be solved..thats why I rang Vini..she just
talks and talks and I stop thinking..it was fun..I put her on loudspeaker and cleared my room :) "

sometimes its better to be locked up in my room

4. "I'm so sorry dear tat i was not wid u when u wanted me il never repeat t enjoy u fest its good to miss someone but its bad to be unhappy and be sad while you remem him he should be ur strength and not ur weakness"-from Krish

Thank You

5. "No probs kuqi jus wandering wt to tell smeagol/gollum/precious/wierdo ne suggestions"-From Bong :)

6."I trust you..don't think bout all this it will just make you feel low.."- From Tarun :)

7."You're going alone? k keep msgng me. I'll be there for u :)"-From Sush

Visit to the hospital

8. "But u still need support. Like when u wished u had someone with u. U dont have to be strong all the time"-From Sush

Sometimes you can't make it on your own?

9. "See the thing is I've never really hated anyone..I dono how to do it..even when ppl hurt me I cant hate them ..wierd no?"

10. "Don say sorry! I'm just pissed with the whole situation and I wanna know how he feels about the whole thing but I don wanna be the one to ask him..it'll require an apology..just imagineif I say sorry and he still hates me..what'll i do then?
It's apparent that he's lonely be it but both our pride is just too much to overcome this..Deb can't help..I don wanna sound as if I need a new guy to replace an old one.."

Telling Tarun bout Akshay

11."Even I wonder the same thing sometimes..Life wouldn't make sense without love kiddo..we all need it..We're all made of it and incomplete without it.."

I remember being told this..

12. "If u have nothing to cry about ul never have anything to rejoice about..don't be afraid to show ur sad just as u laugh when ur happy u need to cry when ur sad ..its natural..now I need to sleep cos I'm tired..good night!"

Saw him crying in class

13."You're crying..I can see your tears..thru the hate..thru the pain..redness..u smell the same..pld spice and leather..u laugh the same..piercing thru the silence..but when u cry u cry alone..i used to be able to cry with u..hate doesn't make it easier to stop feeling ur pain..so I stopped hating u."-To Akshay

14. "Ur strong like him..he used to do that too...stay when I asked him to go"

Saved.

Paint Poems

REJECT

You don’t realize
How hard I try
Not to break down and cry
Cos it’s harder to exist in a carefree balloon
Floating, flying.

There’s more space for me
None for you
I’ll close up
I don’t need you
I used to be able to read you
Not now
Not ever
I try

I'd rather not tell you what this is about
Rather not contort that mind around what I'm about
Waste into the blues
Carrying me away from you
I'll tell myself things you told me.
I'll repeat the loud incisions into my mind, cold pistols, strong needles.
I'd rather not take the medicines to cure.
Is there a pain sharper than rejection?

FORGET ME NOT

If you forget to forget me
Remember the funeral songs and the headphones and the last words
Cos those I remembered to forget.

PAINTING POEMS

When you think you’ve lost it
You just need a new canvas
Maybe a mouse
Maybe scroll colours
Maybe bartenders in the background
Maybe the midnight hour
Maybe the silent chirping of Jonathan the Seagull
Or Hemingway’s old man
Or sightless parasites
On Gtalk.

Anything to make your mind work this way again.
To remind yourself that it does.

NO MORE POETRY

More space
No more poetry
Flowing out of my balloon
No more theories on human relations
No more insights on muddled minds
No more sloping letters on shopping
Or rejection
Or hatred
Or heartbreak
No more screaming
Cos the slate is unwritten
Natalie’s asleep
Dark dreaming
Naked friend, killing passions
Leaving you to unjungle the mess.

Phone Poetry

BROKE

41000!
We don have it!
yes we saved cos we knew we had to..
and then we spent..
a new fridge,
a new phone
and now we're broke..
coll fees for two..
in a week will be due..
no money to insure ur life
or ur work..
it sucks to be broke!


CROSSING THE ROAD

He asked if I wanted to run
I love chasing cars
So he took my arm and raced with me
In front of a purple bus
Around a speeding bike
And behind an angry Indica
Am I surprised I'm still alive?
Or did I trust his hold on me?


To Nehal

Dreams of u I'll never stop having
Why are you such an intricate part of him?
Why can't u break free?
Have you forgotten who u were without him?
Don't let him define u
For u are all u have without him
Don't let him quench that thirst in u
That innate desire to be
Don't let him steal what's left of u
He'll leave very little to live by
I warn u
If u have the courage to leave him
Leave him behind
As untraceable history
Not broken nightmares.


INVISIBLE TEARS

He's crying
I can see the tears through the hate
Through the pain
Redness
He smells the same
Old Spice and Leather
He laughs the same
Piercing through Silence
But when he cries
He cries alone


THAT CORNER OF THE WORLD

In the corner of the world where the sun don shine
And the moon don sing a night song,
In that corner of the world I'd like to stay
Without a care all lifelong.

In that corner of the world where the sun don shine
And the sparrows wing aint so strong,
In that corner of the world I'd like to fly
Without a care all daylong.

Where songs don simmer,
Where kings don rule,
Where girls don flirt
And tombs don dig for kingkong

In that corner of the world I'd like to live
Without a care all nightlong.


ANGELS CRY

What will you do when you can't swallow the devil within you?
Would you wallow in the pain of being you?
What would you do when the magic of sunshine fades from the air?
Will you survive the ridicule of darker despair?
What would you do when the seas go dry?
Would you care to cry them full again?
And what if you can’t see the star filled skies?
Would you give up every spark inside you for a little twinkle?

How much would you give to let a crying baby live?
Would you hold up a landslide with broken wings?
What are you willing to give up to see her smile?
Or did you drown doubt with dung?
How long has it been since the last sunrise?
Is it easy to pretend those aren’t tears in her eyes?

What’s the matter with you?
Can’t you see I’m trying?
When did money become your primary prospect?
Choosing to ignore guilty hunger you humour her tears,
With wet tissues you dry the rain.
Will you protect her from thunder like she shielded you from flying sand?
When insult swells you swing unjust words to defend,
Where arrows pierced you pour sweet wine.

On a clear day moss doesn’t grow on trees.
Rolling stones play summer tunes.
Fish fly,
Clothes dry,
Wind thrills little sand hills.

You climb with muddy shoes,
Tired hair,
Swollen feet
Hurry honey!
Smiles don’t last forever.
Angels cry,
Stars collide,
In a manger a grasshopper prays.
Gates open,
Doors shut,
Windows break,
Sunlight streams in.
What would you do when two worlds collide?

Your elastic heart wrapped around her shoulders,
Kiss flying lies,
Kids will give in.
She won’t believe.
The hunger subsides,
You run out of words.

Would you dare comfort with hugs?
Unasked for.
She retaliates.
Repeating her plea for solitude,
Space to be her tearful self.
You can’t allow that,
It would deny you the pleasure of being the martyr.

Two hours later you still can’t unwrap the layers.
Knives, spears, lip balm from the make out kit.
Nothing can scare her into revealing her sorrows.
Maybe they’re too trivial to disclose,
Maybe they’re too deep,
Maybe they involve hating someone you love,
Maybe they’re inconsolable.
Maybe the dust on the shelf is meant to protect,
Maybe the cracks in the pipe leaks only one season
Maybe,
Just maybe, she needs to cry without a reason.